For starters would want to define an ‘ex’. This is an informal noun used to refer to a former spouse or partner in a long term relationship. What i have always wondered is where exactly they belong. Do they need to be always be communicated to? Be updated on any new thing in ones life? Be called in the presence or absense of the new partner? Lastly should ones husband be attending his exes wedding?
Weddings are occasions of laughter, romance and good wishes for the lucky couple. But putting forward your best side becomes truly difficult when you tell your partner you are goin to an ex’s wedding. There is hardly any woman who will allow you to,or at least once, think that that man up there with the bride might have been his if things had turned out differently. Memories of regret and pain can struggle with feelings of envy and embarrassment on such occasions. So if you have received an invitation to your ex-girlfriend’s wedding, should you go or excuse yourself?
The first thing to consider upon being invited to your ex’s wedding is how you feel about her – now. It is obvious that your ex has moved on or else she wouldn’t have been getting married in the first place. It is best you examine your feelings about your breakup and ask yourself if you feel emotionally ready to see her with another man and that too getting married. If you both had parted ways since more than a year back, chances are that each of you has come to terms with the breakup. However if it is relatively recent like three months or less, you might need to be sincere with yourself whether you want to go through this at all.
If you and your ex had had an ugly breakup, maybe it would be better not to attend her wedding. For instance if you had been physically or emotionally hurt by her or are still involved in a bitter legal conflict with the guy, then it is very unlikely that you would be in the right frame of mind to wish him well. The very fact that she has sent you an invitation should not pressurize you to accept it or go along – she may simply be trying to psyche you up or trying to rub the fact that she has moved on. Since you do not really know why she has extended the invitation to you, there is no point speculating about his reasons – it will only leave you emotionally exhausted. Rather respond promptly with a brief note expressing your regret.
Sometimes the absence of a former partner can excite more gossip than their presence. So if you are thinking of accepting your ex’s wedding invitation just to put to rest doubts about your ability to move on, maybe you should reconsider. If you attend the wedding in a negative frame of mind, you are bound to feel ill at ease, not to mention suspect everyone present to pity your situation. The only reason why you are attending your ex’s wedding should be because you have put the past firmly where it belongs and now wish her well.
Yet another aspect to this conundrum could be presented about your current partner. If you are in a steady relationship right now, it would be relevant to consider how your present partner feels about your being invited to an ex’s wedding, much less attend it. Sound out your partner’s ideas on this – if she reacts with suspicion and alacrity, maybe it would be better to politely decline; unless of course you are ready to put your foot down and insist that if necessary you will go by yourself. On the other hand if your current partner sees no harm in your attending an ex’s wedding, you are lucky not only to have been given a chance to make peace with your past, but even to have a nice date to keep you company in the present.
For better living in current relationships, no social texting/phone calls with members of the opposite sex–including exes
Things that look innocent can often become something else. Texting can be dangerous. Even with work, I’d suggest only texting when it’s absolutely imperative, and trying to keep those texts to a minimum, and always business related. In general, men shouldn’t be texting other women, and women shouldn’t be texting other men.This would definitely include one’s ex-wife or ex-girlfriend, but it would also apply once you’re married with someone who is “just friends”. Once you’re married, friends of the opposite sex should be friends of BOTH of you, not just you. So if your husband’s best friend was a girl, he should now really only see her when you are also there.
That may sound like I’m being overly strict, but I don’t think it’s appropriate for someone who is married to be talking to someone of the opposite sex for companionship or friendship. That’s what a spouse is for, and that’s what same-sex friends are for. Even if you mean it absolutely innocently, you don’t know what the other person is thinking. And when you do have trouble in your marriage, you don’t want to be talking to someone of the opposite sex about it.